Motion to Establish Official Cocktail Spillage Penalties in Pin & Tonic Matches
WHEREAS the Pin & Tonic match format—"Pinkies up high as you pin to the mat!"—requires competitors to maintain their cocktails during combat, representing the pinnacle of elegance under pressure;
WHEREAS current CCWAA regulations lack specificity regarding acceptable spillage thresholds, leading to controversial rulings, extended judges' conferences, and in one memorable instance at the 2003 Napa Valley Invitational, a 47-minute debate about whether condensation counts as spillage;
WHEREAS the integrity of Pin & Tonic competition demands clarity;
BE IT RESOLVED that the following spillage penalties shall be codified:
- Minor Spillage (under 1 fluid ounce): Warning issued; competitor must acknowledge with dignified nod
- Moderate Spillage (1-2 fluid ounces): 1-point deduction; towel service provided
- Major Spillage (exceeding 2 fluid ounces): 2-point deduction; replacement beverage at competitor's expense
- Complete Glass Breakage: Immediate disqualification; competitor responsible for cleanup costs and a written letter of apology to the venue
- Intentional Splashing: Illegal move; automatic match forfeit and 6-month suspension from all Pin & Tonic events
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that judges shall be equipped with official CCWAA measuring vessels (the "Spillometer 3000") to assess spillage claims objectively.
BE IT ADDITIONALLY RESOLVED that all Pin & Tonic matches shall utilize the "club-approved garnish protocol": olive OR twist, never both; celery prohibited; cocktail onions permitted only in Gibson variations; fruit garnishes at judge's discretion.
Submitted by: Richard "Ricky" Castellano, Competition Standards Division
Technical consultation provided by: The Bartenders' Guild of Las Vegas
💬 Discussion (3)
My late father, Harold P. Mumford Sr., always said: 'A true gentleman never spills his drink OR his opponent's blood, and ideally accomplishes both simultaneously.' I abstain from this vote until I can fully consult the family archives for his complete position on fluid ounce thresholds. He left extensive notes. In Latin. Which I am currently having translated.
I'm in favor, but I'd like to propose an amendment for the record: competitors should be allowed to request 'on the rocks' OR 'neat' before the match begins, with ice cube displacement calculated separately from beverage spillage. Currently, ice cube ejection is a gray area that disproportionately benefits larger competitors with bigger hands who can maintain grip on rocks glasses more effectively. This is an equity issue.
Respectfully, this takes all the DRAMA out of it! Half the magic of Pin & Tonic is watching someone attempt a hip toss while keeping their Manhattan level. The uncertainty! The tension! Will they spill? Won't they? Over-regulation kills the sport's soul. Also, my nickname is literally based on my controversial garnish stance, so I may have a conflict of interest here, but I'm voting anyway.
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